My birth story...

I'd played it out in my head a thousand times. A thousand different scenarios, possibilities, ways that I'd imagined the events of labor and delivery unfolding. All the mental preparation in the world could not have prepared me for how our beautiful little girl would enter this world. Call me naive, but for some unknown reason it truly never crossed my mind that I could possibly have a c-section. Everything about my pregnancy had been perfect thus far, and my biggest fears were along the lines of my water breaking in public or not being able to handle the epidural. Boy was I wrong...


Wednesday, March 3rd - On Tuesday the doctor had informed me of my progress (3cm/90% effaced) and we'd scheduled an induction on Wednesday, March 10th since my sweet girl was projected to be so big. It was great news, but having hardly any contractions on Wednesday I was feeling like the induction would be the day we'd meet our baby. I was okay with that. I had very light, random contractions which I assumed to be braxton hicks off and on at work, but nothing note-worthy. Jack and I made bacon cheddar french fries and pizza for dinner...yes, we're healthy like that... and decided on an after dinner bath to relax. Normal pregnancy procedure, always pee before getting in the bath tub. Every pregnant woman knows the moment you step into the tub without peeing first, you'll have to go. So I went to the toilet, pulled my pants down, and almost didn't make it because (at the time I assumed) my bladder was seriously having a moment. I laughed it off, joking with Jack how attractive that must be, me almost peeing myself. I crawled into the bath tub and immediately felt a strong "pop" sensation. I thought Ms. Lily got mad and kicked the snot out of me. That's when I realized exactly what everyone had described. Sitting in the water I could feel myself gushing fluid. I screamed at Jack to get out of the tub! How embarrassing! I stood up and it gushed, and gushed, and gushed. I soaked through two huge pads trying to get dressed, sat on the toilet for almost 10 minutes, and finally decided to get a trash bag for me to sit on and head to the hospital. Mom in tow, we started the journey. I started having painful contractions as soon as we left the house. Surprisingly I remained calm through all of this. I called family members, breathed through the contractions, and prepared myself mentally for what was about to happen. Or so I thought.

We made it the hospital around 8:45 p.m. and were taken straight to a room. By this point my contractions were hell. Just when they hit the point where I honestly thought they couldn't get any worse, they did. The nurse came in around 9:30 to check me, and said I was between 2-3 cms but 100% effaced. What?! I didn't think you could go backwards! I was 3cms dilated yesterday!! I chalked it up to her being new (even though I have no idea if she was or not) and continued to suffer through the contractions. They started me on Stadol to ease the pain. It did nothing for the pain, just made me fall asleep in between contractions. Finally, in between 1:30 - 2:00, I'd progressed close enough to 4 cm they gave me my epidural. Let me tell you. All the worrying about how I would manage the pain of the epidural was for nothing! It was the easiest part of the entire experience. I was in heaven! The doctor said that the epidural would work wonders for the contractions, but there would come a point during labor (transition) when the pain from pressure would hurt just as bad as the contractions. They would have to start a different medication for that, since it was different nerves that were affected. My contractions were painless until around 4:00 am, and then the pressure kicked in full force. I took this as good news - I thought we were finally in transition. (For those wondering, transition starts when you've dilated 6-7 cms) I buzzed the nurse, and 30 minutes later she came in to check my progress. 5 cms. Per her words, that was stretching it. I just knew this was still the beginning of what looked like an extremely long labor. The only thing getting me through my disappointment and pain was the sound of my baby girl’s heart beating away. I could labor until the end of time, just as long as I could hear that beautiful sound. The nurse ordered a different pain medicine for the pressure, which took the edge off and made it manageable. I continued to labor this way until around 8:00 am, and the nurse finally came back in to check me. They'd mentioned when we arrived that they wouldn't be doing a lot of internals since my water had already broken and they didn't want to risk infection. Talk about disappointing... 4 hours later and I was still at 5cm. She said the baby just wasn't dropping like she should be. That, along with my extremely slow dilation, prompted her to put me on my side to labor. She turned me on my left side, and left the room. It wasn't 10 minutes later I had the biggest scare of my life so far. My baby's heartbeat disappeared. I panicked immediately, and my mom ran out to the nurses station to let them know what was going on. I kept telling myself it was just the position I was in, and the monitor just wasn't picking it up. Unfortunately that wasn't the case. The nurse came rushing in and threw me on my back, frantically searching with the monitor for her heartbeat. She threw me to my right side, and finally the heartbeat came back to the monitor. It was around 78 bmp when it finally appeared, and slowly climbed back to the 130's. Looking at the monitor showed that I'd been having a continuous contraction for well over 5 minutes. She stuck me with some sort of medicine to stop the contractions and called the doctor. The medicine worked and my contractions went back to 4-5 minutes apart almost instantly. The doctor made it to the hospital within 15 minutes and came straight into my room. She went over what just happened with the nurse and checked me. I was a 4. She said my cervix wasn't cooperating at all and starting to swell shut. The baby's head was tilted in an awkward position, and on top of that, my pelvis appeared to be entirely too small for delivery vaginally. With all that said, she needed to do an emergency c-section to avoid the risk of her heartbeat dropping/disappearing again. I was in shock. My biggest fear was becoming a reality. There was no escaping it though; we had to do what needed to be done. I kept re-living the moment we couldn't find her heartbeat, and it all became okay to me. She needed to be out right then, and I needed to suck up my fears and stay calm for my sweet girl. So I did. They wheeled me into the OR, prepped me for surgery, and that's when I got sick. I was sick from the anesthetic, from all the emotions running rampant, from knowing that our lives were going to change in a matter of moments. Jack came in not 5 minutes later, and within 8 minutes, the doctor announced she was coming out. We heard her cry. It wasn't a scream; it was the sweetest little whimper I've ever heard. I looked at Jack and he was tearing up, and I cried. My entire life I've never experienced anything that could hold a candle to the feeling I felt listening to my baby girl make her entrance into this world. This was the product of mine and Jack's love for each other. Our beautiful relationship had developed into a family in an instance. She was, and is, the most beautiful thing I've ever laid eyes on. She has her daddy's nose and she's sporting a head full of mommy's hair.

Liliana Audrey made her debut March 4th, 2010 at 9:52 am. The moment I realized life's meaning.

Recovery has been... I'll just say do-able. I'm extremely swollen and sore from laboring 13 hours, and I have pain at the incision site (which is to be expected). All in all, I'd go through 10000x worse every single day if it meant having my baby girl in my arms. I'm so deeply in love...